When tragedy befalls me and someone says, "Better you than me," I always reply, "Yes, I am better than you.

“I did what I did for my clone, not for my own personal gain. It wasn’t right th…”

“Instead of hatching a plan, why not break it open prematurely and use it to mak…”

“When I go to the bar, I never drink much. And to do that I avoid conversations,…”

“Please, allow me a moment to put my penis back where it belongs. I should never…”