When you buy a gun, every problem starts to look like a nail.

“Karate, I get a real kick out of it. I would get a kick out of coffee, but I’ve…”

“Don’t leave me with her. What if her car breaks down, she’s a killer, or she br…”

“Like a vibrator bolted on a bulldozer, I’m a regular sex machine.”

“Masturbation, like writing, is best when your mind is working faster than your …”