Whether you’re a Democrat or a Republican, I think everybody can agree that politicians are crooks. But I don’t think politicians are thieves, because you can’t steal what you’ve been given. Once we stop giving in, they’ll stop taking.


“One of the things you never want to be in this life is boring. But once, sad to…”

“My girlfriend is as reasonable as Lady Justice, and just as blindfolded. She’s …”

“Loneliness is the unloneliest feeling in the world, as everyone has experienced…”

“Take me to Happy Birthday Land. It’s open 364 days of the year, and the one day…”