Who leads the world in consumption? America! Who has more lawyers per capita? America! Who has the highest incarceration rate? America! What is the greatest country on earth? America!

“If people lived to be a thousand years old, there’d be extreme inequality, base…”

“At the bar, I asked her what she’d like to drink, hoping she’d reply, “Your sem…”

“Love doesn’t have form (aside from your naked body), but it does have a shape. …”

“I care for her about my mom like a Maggie (three Donalds per serving).”