Who stole my stew? I left it sitting in my stomach while I went to the bathroom, and when I came out it was gone. I was only gone for five minutes.

“If I had chlorophyll instead of blood, I’d have ivy in my IV (not Roman numeral…”

“You don’t need my approval to disagree. But I’m sure you agree—and I’m sure you…”

“I would tell you I hope you find what you seek in life, but your problem is you…”

“A brick could be used to block out the pain, if you use it to first inflict pai…”