Why is it that I occur as a story to everyone except myself?

“Centuries ago, sailors on long voyages used to leave a pair of pigs on every de…”

“About my boss, Tyler tells me, if I'm really angry, I should go to the post off…”

“There's the obituary to look for the next week, six column inches about nothing…”

“Nevertheless, here it is: my Hideous Admission. I’ll fess up and come clean. I’…”