With anal sex, I suggest you start gently. Find a slender midget. Or a member of Congress.

“I’d like to write a screenplay about my grandpa, and I’d like my future grandso…”

“My new employer made me get a drug test, so I ripped off my shirt, flexed my mu…”

“There are an infinite number of reasons to say no. Instead, try to focus on one…”

“I don’t get the phrase, “Cut to the chase.” When I’m exasperated with all the v…”