With gift giving, if it’s the thought that counts, then a picture of a Mercedes is just as good as an actual Mercedes. With my new camera, I can’t wait to show you how much I love you!

“It’s not true I think all politicians are morons. Morons are far too intelligen…”

“To get a step up in the world, you could use a ladder, or you could use your co…”

“I’d use my shadow as a blanket, but it’s too cold. It’s a shame, because it’d f…”

“I make love like a flamethrower would make a good ice machine. But that’s OK, b…”