With my career I want to either make something or make an impact. Writers both make something, and make an impact.

“A brick could be licked, like a cat’s asshole. But obviously inversed, because …”

“I make conversation like I make love to myself—I let my hands do all the talkin…”

“He has one of the worst personalities. Actually, you can’t call it a personalit…”

“The topic of weather isn’t small talk, when you’re conversing with a meteorolog…”