Would you mind terribly if instead of serving desert, I masturbated quietly at the dinner table? I’m training for Congress.

“One of your siblings has got to be the dumbest. And if you’re an only child—you…”

“A blanket could be used to spread the love around. Tuck it in at the edges, so …”

“I keep my love in the trunk. And I drive slowly over speed bumps, so she doesn’…”

“The name’s Jamello. That’s my last name—and my first name. And yes, I am a herm…”