You can’t believe every word you read while watching TV. (Even with closed captioning turned off).

“I drove 30 miles to buy some breath mints before I realized I had some already …”

“The problem with ebooks is you can’t get booger smears on the pages.”

“My dad always used to tell me __________________. My dad never told me anything…”

“Love, like glue, is a four-letter word that ends in “e,” only much stickier. An…”