You can’t steal what no man owns. Like my love, for example. It’s owned exclusively by women.

“It is with great sadness that I blow my nose.”

“I remember my first cell phone number still. I may call it and ask to speak to …”

“If love were a color, it'd be orange. Not because that's a romantic color, but …”

“Amputate your leg, and attach it to the underside of your wobbly, three-legged …”