-You don’t want to come out and celebrate with me tonight? What’s more important than the fact that I just got a job?

-My grandpa just died.

-Oh, shit. I’m sorry, man.

-Oh, no, he’s still alive. I was just giving you an example of something more important.

“The schizophrenic in the sleeping bag with a live chicken and a can of tomato s…”

“However, my next-door neighbors had an entirely different manner of eating. Whe…”

“I have a list of pet names for Cap’n so long that it could fill a phone book (i…”

“Love is a green sky on a blue pasture, and I am the flying cow eating it all up.”