You just tell me when and where, and not only will I not be there, but I’ll also be late.

“I like eye contact, but please don’t blink when my eyeballs are touching yours.”

“My name is Hope Happy, and I am a pessimist.”

“A blanket could be twirled in the air, like a new idea in your mind, and then e…”

“I like small talk. Let’s discuss midgets.”