You know what show I thought was a riot? Live coverage of Egyptians overthrowing their government.

“A shirt is a dress, if you have short enough legs.”

“A brick could be cast in Samuel Jackson roles. It would be cheaper and more dra…”

“Like my grandpa, who dropped out of school to farm, I have a 4th grade educatio…”

“I’ll never go hungry, because I’m a pet owner and a meat eater. I used to own b…”