You know what’s not funny? Funny bones. No, at best they are only mildly amusing.

“If love felt like furry sandpaper, would you ever be able to leave my nipples a…”

“I am approximately 96.694444% in love with you. Of course, that’s just a rough …”

“If a cold breeze signifies a ghost, then the arctic must be really haunted. I’m…”

“I was forced to eat crow. I was so embarrassed that I would have eaten any othe…”