You made me dinner, so I made myself vomit—twice. Once to clear some room in my full stomach so I could eat, and the second time as an expression of what I thought about your cooking.

“A brick could be used to bring about a pantsless revolution. A zipper is just a…”

“On any job application I ever do, if they want my references, I always list the…”

“I like color commentators. Especially red, white, and blue color commentators. …”

“A brick could be used as a measurement of time. Yes, just think how stylish you…”