You tell me you love me, but I’m not sure you know what love is, or how fast it flies, or how much it resembles a UFO, or what kind of weapon you’d use to shoot it down.

“The picture is bad because the photographer was poor. I took the picture myself…”

“I don’t like tit for tat. I like tit for tit. Bring on the boobies!”

“A brick represents my rationality, and a blanket represents my emotions. It’s r…”

“When I’m tired, I say, “I’m calling it a night.” Well, what else am I going to …”