Your fork is my shovel. I eat real estate and I drink coffee.

“I talked to David yesterday, but since it is a statue, it didn’t talk back. I h…”

“My favorite thing isn’t being the favorite to win—it’s being the underdog.”

“I’ve got a pocket full of cash, and a condom full of erection.”

“If I promise you I'll show up fifteen minutes late, I'll always arrive on time.”