I like people thinking I'm an asshole. Being an asshole is my life's vocation; I'm a goddamned asshole professional.

James Alan Gardner

Stichwörter: assholery

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When approaching a prospective human, first ask them what their name is.

* If it replies "Brains," blow its fucking head off.
* If it replies "Brian," ask it again, as you may have encountered a zombie with a speech impediment, or a zombie that was mildly retarded in life.
* Keep in mind that it is entirely possible that you did encounter a human named "Brian.

Shamus McCarty

Stichwörter: humor zombie zombies funny-quotes zombie-apocalypse assholery

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I’m alive; I’m not gonna try eating your ass, okay? Don’t shoot!”

“What… Eat my ASS?”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.

Shamus McCarty

Stichwörter: zombies bizarro assholery

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Culpable obtuseness. He should know better. That's one reason why we don't use the a-word, for example, of little children. They can merit the s-word, because there's a malignity that's innate in little kids sometimes, but you can't merit the a-word until you're old enough so that you ought to know better.

Geoffrey Nunberg

Stichwörter: rudeness children assholery

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