I think maybe, when I was very young, I witnessed a chaste cheek kiss between the two when it was impossible to avoid. Christmas, birthdays. Dry lips. On their best married days, their communications were entirely transactional: 'We're out of milk again.' (I'll get some today.) 'I need this ironed properly.' (I'll do that today.) 'How hard is it to buy milk?' (Silence.) 'You forgot to call the plumber.' (Sigh.) 'Goddammit, put on your coat, right now, and go out and get some goddamn milk. Now.' These messages and orders brought to you by my father, a mid-level phonecompany manager who treated my mother at best like an incompetent employee.
Gillian FlynnStichwörter: love family parents silence communication fight childhood mother parenthood fighting depression parents-and-children heartbreak relationship sexism divorce father abuse fights love-lost childhood-memories abusive-relationships bad-parenting abusive abusive-relationship broken-home
...my father, [was] a mid-level phonecompany manager who treated my mother at best like an incompetent employee. At worst? He never beat her, but his pure, inarticulate fury would fill the house for days, weeks, at a time, making the air humid, hard to breathe, my father stalking around with his lower jaw jutting out, giving him the look of a wounded, vengeful boxer, grinding his teeth so loud you could hear it across the room ... I'm sure he told himself: 'I never hit her'. I'm sure because of this technicality he never saw himself as an abuser. But he turned our family life into an endless road trip with bad directions and a rage-clenched driver, a vacation that never got a chance to be fun.
Gillian FlynnStichwörter: love rage family parents silence communication fight childhood mother anger parenthood fighting malice parents-and-children heartbreak sexism fury divorce terror father abuse scared heartbroken fights love-lost childhood-memories abusive-parents emotional-abuse abusive mental-abuse broken-home
My dad had limitations. That's what my good-hearted mom always told us. He had limitations, but he meant no harm. It was kind of her to say, but he did do harm.
Gillian FlynnStichwörter: harm family parents relationships childhood hurt mother scars parenthood indoctrination parents-and-children heartbreak loyalty divorce father limits limitations abuse heartbroken brainwashing false-beliefs love-lost childhood-memories emotional-abuse bad-parenting abusive psychological-abuse mental-abuse broken-home didn-t-mean-it
They thought more before nine a.m. than most people thought all month. I remember once declining cherry pie at dinner, and Rand cocked his head and said, 'Ahh! Iconoclast. Disdains the easy, symbolic patriotism.' And when I tried to laugh it off and said, well, I didn't like cherry cobbler either, Marybeth touched Rand's arm: 'Because of the divorce. All those comfort foods, the desserts a family eats together, those are just bad memories for Nick.'
It was silly but incredibly sweet, these people spending so much energy trying to figure me out. The answer: I don't like cherries.
Stichwörter: patriotism childhood psychology funny logic simplicity memories symbolism irony thoughts divorce ironic psychologist the-mind iconoclast childhood-memories over-thinking broken-home bad-memories cherry-pie
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