You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named "Bush", "Dick", and "Colin." Need I say more?
Chris RockStichwörter: humor funny comedy everyday-life observational-comedy
Vegard and Riston's job today was to guard and protect me. And considering that I was in a tower room in the Guardians' citadel, it looked like a pretty plum assignment. I mean, how much trouble could a girl get into under heavy guard in a tower room? Notice I didn't ask that question out loud. No need to rub Fate's nose in something when I'd been tempting her enough lately.
Phaelan had generously his guard services as well, just in case something happened to me that my Guardian bodyguards couldn't handle. Phaelan's guard-on-duty stance resembled his pirate-on-shore-leave stane of leaning back in a chair with his feet up, but instead of a tavern table, his boots were doing a fine job of holding down the windowsill. I don't know how I'd ever felt safe without him.
Stichwörter: sarcasm observational-comedy wry
When a kid says "smell my hand," it almost never smells like cinnamon.
Brian P. ClearyStichwörter: humor kids observational-comedy
There’s no such thing as free kittens.
Brian P. ClearyStichwörter: humor money observations observational-comedy kittens
It’s not technically gossip if you start your sentence with “I’m really concerned about __________________ ,” (fill in the name of the person you’re not gossiping about).
Brian P. ClearyStichwörter: humor gossip observations observational-comedy
Not only is love blind, it’s a little hard of hearing.
Brian P. ClearyStichwörter: humor love marriage observational-comedy
Whatever story you're telling, it will be more interesting if, at the end you add, "and then everything burst into flames.
Brian P. ClearyStichwörter: humor storytelling observations observational-comedy
If a couple has their picture taken at a wedding or other social gathering, and the woman looks hot, her guy could be blinking, chewing, or even mid-sneeze, and she’ll still display it on her desk at work.
Brian P. ClearyStichwörter: humor observation observational-comedy
The most common error made in matters of appearance is the belief that one should disdain the superficial and let the true beauty of one’s soul shine through. If there are places on your body where this is a possibility, you are not attractive – you are leaking.
Fran LebowitzStichwörter: humor observational-comedy
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