When you encounter seemingly good advice that contradicts other seemingly good advice, ignore them both.

Al Franken

Tags: advice

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The biases the media has are much bigger than conservative or liberal. They're about getting ratings, about making money, about doing stories that are easy to cover.

Al Franken

Tags: media

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Mistakes are a part of being human. Precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from.

Al Franken

Tags: error education humanity mistakes lessons

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When the president during the campaign
said he was against nation building,
I didn't realize he meant our nation.

Al Franken

Tags: politics foreign-policy america usa bush iraq nation-building

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Does the mainstream media have a liberal bias? On a couple of things, maybe. Compared to the American public at large, probably a slightly higher percentage of journalists, because of thier enhanced power of discernment, realize they know a gay person or two, and are, therefore, less frightened of them.

Al Franken

Tags: liberalism liberals media gay homosexuality bias homophobia

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Today I will masterbate!

Okay, that was a mistake. I should have written "Today I will masterbate--if I want to!

Al Franken

Tags: humor freedom sex masturbation

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WHAT DO WE WANT?! PATIENCE! WHEN DO WE WANT IT?! NOW!

Al Franken

Tags: funny

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