I had a naked incubus in my bedroom. With a frying pan of half-cooked bacon, and a hard-on. And a unicorn bite on his ass. Christ, this was turning out to be a weird morning.
Allison PangDid you learn to dress that way in Leather for Bad Boys one-oh-one?
Allison PangAnother chunk of my childhood dreams had just run down the reality drain in the form of a horny unicorn, no less.
Allison PangI wish you could see what I see when I look at you.
Allison PangTags: self-image
Since you couldn't be bothered to give me your name, I'll just tell Moira that an extra from the porno version of Something Wicked This Way Comes was looking for her.
Allison PangListen, I don't care if you're Voldemort under that thing. We don't sell livestock. Period.
Allison PangThe unicorn : I'm not a chihuahua, you know.
Abby : You hump my leg like one.
Lok’tar ogar!” The daemon holding me pulled my head back, exposing my throat.
“Victory or death,” I retorted at my captor hoarsely. “For the Horde. And for the record, shouting World of Warcraft battle
cries kind of kills the whole ‘imminent death’ expectation.”
The daemon paused. “What server are you on?” he demanded.
“Blackhand.”
“Righteous. Guild?”
I couldn’t imagine what the hell that mattered at this point, but it was keeping me alive so that was a bonus. I’d gladly spit out
the rest of my Warcraft stats if it bought me a few more minutes.
“Yeah,” I coughed. “ElfhunterBitches.”
He blinked and then grinned, tapping himself on the chest. “No shit. I’m TartBarbie. Undead DeathKnight.”
I stared at him. “TB? Seriously? I’m Baconator. Blelf Warlock. You did a hell of a job tanking on that raid the other night.”
“Yeah, I am pretty awesome.” He glanced over his shoulder, releasing me. “Look, if I’d known it was you, I’d never have
agreed to this. Go on.” He nudged me with a leather boot. “I’ll tell them you got away.”
I didn’t have to be told twice. “Thanks,” I said softly. “I’ll make it up to you, somehow.”
“No worries.” He winked. “See you next Thursday.
Not that I knew just what an incubus actually looked like, but judging by the darkness that was sliding up the back of his neck, it wasn’t overly human. Hysterical visions of people running for the exits pursued by a massive cock and balls filled my mind, and I let out a gasp of laughter despite myself.
Allison PangTags: humor incubus nervous-laughter
If you masturbate, would that make you an incubator?”
I eyed him sideways, struggling not to laugh at his nonplussed expression or the sharp bark of mock outrage that followed.
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