The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

Andy Rooney

Tags: kindness man humanity dogs



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It's paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone.

Andy Rooney

Tags: life age time aging



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The 50-50-90 rule: anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

Andy Rooney

Tags: mistakes probability



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If you smile when you are alone, then you really mean it.

Andy Rooney

Tags: loneliness smile meaning smiles



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Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.

Andy Rooney


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My mother always called me 'sturdy' and said I have big bones. A little fat is what I am.

Andy Rooney


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I'm always on the lookout for something good about people. Often months go by.

Andy Rooney


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Writers don't often say anything that readers don't already know, unless its a news story. A writer's greatest pleasure is revealing to people things they knew but did not know they knew. Or did not realize everyone else knew, too. This produces a warm sense of fellow feeling and is the best a writer can do.

Andy Rooney


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The trouble with dictionaries is, they tell you more about words than you want to know without answering the question you have.

Andy Rooney


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If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.

Andy Rooney


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