Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Heres Tom with the Weather.

Bill Hicks

Tags: philosophy humour



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The world is like a ride in an amusement park. And when you choose to go on it you think it's real because that's how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and round and round. It has thrills and chills and it's very brightly coloured and it's very loud and it's fun, for a while. Some people have been on the ride for a long time and they begin to question: "Is this real, or is this just a ride?" And other people have remembered, and they come back to us, they say, "Hey, don't worry, don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride." And we kill those people.

Bill Hicks


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I'm tired of this back-slappin' "isn't humanity neat" bullshit. We're a virus with shoes.

Bill Hicks

Tags: humor humour misanthropy



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I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, "My dad can beat up your dad." I'd say Yeah? When?

Bill Hicks


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It's always funny until someone gets hurt.

Then it's just hilarious.

Bill Hicks

Tags: russell-brand



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I was in Nashville, Tennessee last year. After the show I went to a Waffle House. I'm not proud of it, I was hungry. And I'm alone, I'm eating and I'm reading a book, right? Waitress walks over to me: 'Hey, whatcha readin' for?' Isn't that the weirdest fuckin' question you've ever heard? Not what am I reading, but what am I reading FOR? Well, goddamnit, ya stumped me! Why do I read? Well . . . hmmm...I dunno...I guess I read for a lot of reasons and the main one is so I don't end up being a fuckin' waffle waitress.

Bill Hicks

Tags: reading tennessee waffle nashville waffles



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Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye.

Bill Hicks

Tags: imagination television intuition



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They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do just as well — you just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort. There is a difference.

Bill Hicks

Tags: humor drugs



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It's just a ride.

Bill Hicks


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I smoke to fill the potholes in my soul

Bill Hicks


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