People used to laugh at me when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well they're not laughing now.

Bob Monkhouse


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Growing old is compulsory - growing up is optional.

Bob Monkhouse


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Personally, I don’t think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?

Bob Monkhouse

Tags: humour



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Silence is not only golden, it is seldom misquoted.

Bob Monkhouse

Tags: silence



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I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer.

Bob Monkhouse

Tags: humor



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They all laughed when I said I'd become a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now.

Bob Monkhouse

Tags: humor laughter revenge self-deprecation resentment envy biography jokes



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