Health food makes me sick.

Calvin Trillin

Tags: food

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The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.

Calvin Trillin

Tags: humor food cooking leftovers mothers

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The price of purity is purists.

Calvin Trillin

Tags: purity purists

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When someone reaches middle age, people he knows begin to get put in charge of things, and knowing what he knows about the people who are being put in charge of things scares the hell out of him.

Calvin Trillin

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If Lincoln freed the slaves and preserved the Union, how come
'Lincolnesque' just means tall?

Calvin Trillin

Tags: humor question president

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Daddy, how come in Kansas City the bagels taste like just round bread?

Calvin Trillin

Tags: humor food trillin

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Do my ears deceive me, or can I actually hear the sounds of worms turning? You say a turning worm makes no sound? But how about a chorus of turning worms?

Calvin Trillin

Tags: humor trillin worms-turning

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Why in the world are you a Republican?

Calvin Trillin

Tags: republican trillin questionstruck

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By the way, did you fellows know that a hummingbird weighs as much as a quarter? Do you think a hummingbird also weighs the same as two dimes and a nickel? But then she asked a question of her own: How do they weigh a hummingbird?

Calvin Trillin

Tags: humor trillin questionstruck hummingbird

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Would I be commenting on Amy Fisher?
Was that the sort of subject that someone who hoped to become poet laureate should discuss? Would those British laureates who had traditionally written about royal birthdays and royal jubilees have dealt with such goings on?

Calvin Trillin

Tags: trillin questionstruck amy-fisher

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