It's hard to take someone seriously when they leave you a note saying, 'Your ugly.' My ugly what? The idiot didn't even know the difference between your and you're.

Cara Lynn Shultz

Tags: grammar



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Do I look like a freaking fairy - tale princess to you?

Cara Lynn Shultz


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She just shook her head and pulled out a small bottle of some random pop star's signature perfume, spritzing me with the sickly-sweet smell.
"Oh, come on Ash, that smells like a unicorn fart," I cried, recoiling at the overpowering, candylike smell.

Cara Lynn Shultz

Tags: humor



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The U.S. Postal Service should hire him for an ad campaign. If he were at the mailbox every time you sent a letter, no one would use email ever again.

Cara Lynn Shultz


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I longed to know what it felt like to have one person eclipse everything bad in your life - be a place of pure joy.

Cara Lynn Shultz


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- I was a tired mess. My eyes didn't just have bags - they had five-piece luggage sets.

Cara Lynn Shultz


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She was so cold, she probably farted ice cubes.

Cara Lynn Shultz


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This guy had more lines than loose-leaf.

Cara Lynn Shultz

Tags: humorous-quotations



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Want to start a fairy-tale romance with me? BTW it might be doomed, k?

Cara Lynn Shultz


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What I was hungry for was sitting nonchalantly next to me on the couch.

Cara Lynn Shultz


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