Hey. Sometimes life is a shit flavored Popsicle.

Carl Hiaasen

Tags: humour



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Garcia wondered why people with JESUS stickers on their bumper always drove twenty miles per hour under the speed limit. If God was my co-pilot, he thought, I'd be doing a hundred and twenty.

Carl Hiaasen

Tags: humor god



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Jimmy Lee Baylis was a wise man, and knew better than to talk back to the man who signed his paycheck.

Carl Hiaasen


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...Right now there's a pair of bad cops on their way out here to shoot me."
"You don't know that."
"Yeah, you're right," Stranahan said. "They're probably just collecting Toys for Tots. Now go.

Carl Hiaasen

Tags: humor action



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Remember what happened last time with the 'cuda.

Carl Hiaasen

Tags: humor action



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The man's a born straggler, Honey thought, another lucky exception to the rules of natural selection. A million years ago he would've been an easy snack for a saber-toothed tiger.

Carl Hiaasen


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Mrs. Bonneville never buckled her seat belt, even though it was required by state law; an ardent libertarian, she opposed government meddling in all matters of personal choice.

Carl Hiaasen


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-Elle m'appelle encore ton "ex-père"?
-Ça lui arrive , répondit Fry. D'autres fois c'est juste ton vaurien de narcotrafiquants de père.

Carl Hiaasen


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A quick puke, two rails of blow and she was solid.

Carl Hiaasen

Tags: humor



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Actually it was the mark of the stupid, which is what you get for sitting under a tree during a thunderstorm.

Carl Hiaasen

Tags: humor stupidity



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