My favorite comedy is comedy where nothing is achieved and there is no point.

Conan O'Brien


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It's a mistake to read. Television is the only way.

Conan O'Brien


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A study in the Washington Post says that women have
better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the
authors of that study: 'Duh.

Conan O'Brien

Tags: humor men women



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Applaud my idiocy.

Conan O'Brien

Tags: life absurd



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When all else fails, there's always delusion.

Conan O'Brien

Tags: life absurd



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The top two movies at the box office this weekend were 'High School Musical 3' and 'Saw V.'

One movie features gruesome onscreen torture that is difficult to watch and the other is about a guy with a saw.

Conan O'Brien


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I just want to say to the kids out there watching: You can do anything you want in life. Unless Jay Leno wants to do it too.

Conan O'Brien


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Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, "Jesus! This cup is expensive!

Conan O'Brien

Tags: humor



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If you work really hard, and you're kind, amazing things will happen.

Conan O'Brien


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All I ask is one thing, and I’m asking this particularly of young people: please don’t be cynical. I hate cynicism, for the record, it’s my least favorite quality and it doesn’t lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen.

Conan O'Brien

Tags: inspirational happiness cynicism



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