USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.

David Letterman


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You have Kim Jong Il, and you have his brother, Menta Lee Il.

David Letterman


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Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today? 1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War. 2) Advising the President. 3) Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin.

David Letterman

Tags: humour



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USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population.

David Letterman


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I had no idea this thing was televised. Boy, is my face red.

David Letterman


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You can't eat tomatoes because they're tainted with deadly salmonella.

First there was tainted lettuce. Now, tainted tomatoes. Who would have thought that the healthiest part of a B.L.T. would be the bacon?

David Letterman


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If what you've done is stupid, but it works..then it really isn't all that stupid.

David Letterman


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If it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

David Letterman


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Labour day is a great American holiday that people
celebrate by going out and buying products
made in China

David Letterman


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I haven't reached nirvana yet, but I've been to Detroit.

David Letterman


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