Emily smiled mischievously. "Your engagement was a rainy day occurrence? Afraid she would say no on a good day?

Devon Ashley

Tags: humor devon-ashley ordained



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Noel ducked to the lower cabinets – a percussion of pots and pans clanged into each other.

“Are you intentionally trying not to listen to me?”

His head popped above the counter. “I resent that. I’m a great listener. Just ask the TV.”

Emily rolled her eyes. “Alright. I had…”

Noel heard her swallow and he suddenly wanted to knock himself out with the frying pan.

“…relations…with a mortal, Tommy.”

He ducked again, this time from embarrassment. He groaned silently, wishing she’d turn and walk away before she said what he knew was coming.

“It wasn’t quite the same as it was when I was human. It didn’t—”

“Please you, yeah I got it,” he blurted. “Please, for the love of God, stop.

Devon Ashley

Tags: humor metamorphosis noel devon-ashley



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She sipped the tonic. Her face puckered again. She gagged, covered her mouth and mumbled in disgust, "Oh my God!"

"I said it tasted better, not great."

Abby continued to force the sour tonic down in sips. She could taste a hint of vanilla but the potion left a bitter aftertaste that was similar to vinegar. Her stomach gurgled and burned.

"Water," she coughed after her last sip of tonic.

"No. You'll dilute it," Noel said firmly, relieving her of the glass.

Smartly, she rebutted, "Isn't that what you're supposed to do after drinking poison? Or is it throw up?

Devon Ashley

Tags: humor poison tonic devon-ashley ordained



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I'm not looking for the perfect man. I'm looking for the man whose imperfections I can put up with.

Devon Ashley

Tags: humor imperfection perfect-man



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Eyeing me playfully, he tossed a rock back and forth between his hands. “Was that an accident, or do you have a wet t-shirt competition you need me to get you ready for?

Devon Ashley

Tags: humor falling-in-between



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Wow. You’re going to be a little more difficult to date than I
anticipated.”

I loosely crossed my arms and leaned against the door frame. “Yep. It’s gonna require a little effort on your part. Like physically leaving your room and crossing that horrible hallway that protects you from the cold and snow, and actually come talk to me in person.”

“Alright, alright. You win. Personal contact it is. So how about you meet me for lunch tomorrow?”

“Sure.” I reached over and gently tugged him towards me. “See how easy that was?” His body pressed up against me and his lips brushed mine once more. My insides did a happy dance.

“I want you to remember this arrangement when I stop by unexpectedly and you have green goop smeared all over your face and you’re too embarrassed to open the door.

Devon Ashley

Tags: humor



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Sophie stood there all perky with her hands on her hips in a model-like stance, and a smile that showed way too many pearly whites…and a helium balloon that shouted It’s A Boy!!!

“Nice balloon, Sophie,” he said, slightly amused.

“What?” she asked, all innocently. “They were out of Get Well.”

The hell they were. This little stunt was so Sophie. I knew exactly what that balloon meant – that I came into this hospital alone but I was gonna leave it with a boy wrapped in my arms. Sophie probably thinks he’s ready to suckle my breasts too.

Devon Ashley

Tags: humor



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Can I just say that I don't care if two planes or trains or whatever take off from different locations at different times and travel at different speeds. I am not traffic control, so why the hell would I care what time they'd pass each other?

Devon Ashley

Tags: humor math



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My name is Rosalie. I may be smaller, I may be weaker, but I was born free, should die free. You will not take this from me.

Devon Ashley

Tags: inspirational dust pixies strong-heroine



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But there's one thing all the pixies do have in common. There's no magic left in any of their wings. No shimmer. No luminescence. And I have this awful feeling that my wings look no different.

Devon Ashley

Tags: rosalie



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