They say that 'Guns don't kill people, people kill people.' Well I think the gun helps. If you just stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
Eddie IzzardTags: humor
I am an evil Giraffe.
Eddie IzzardTags: humor
Cake or death?
Eddie IzzardWe will now sing forth, hymn 405, 'Oh God, what on earth is my hairdo all about?
Eddie IzzardYou piss me off you Salmon... You're too expensive in restaurants.
Eddie IzzardTags: humor money restaurant salmon
What have you been reading, The Gospel according to St. Bastard?!
Eddie IzzardTags: absurd
If you commit perjury I don't care. Don't give a shit. I don't think you should because you grade murder. You have murder One. Murder Two. You realize that there can be a difference in the level of murder.
So there must be a difference in the level of perjury. Perjury One is when you're saying there's no Holocaust when, you know, 10 million people have died in it, and Perjury Nine, is when you said you shagged someone and you didn't.
So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little naïve, I feel!
Eddie IzzardTags: america lying president native-americans bill-clinton clinton president-clinton
This is not a game of Who The Fuck Are You.
Eddie IzzardFather, bless me for I have sinned, I did an original sin… I poked a badger with a spoon.
Eddie IzzardPage 1 of 4.
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