I realized my hands were in my pockets. He couldn't hold one even if he wanted to. Not unless he actively dug it out, which would be weird. He probably thought I was sending him a specific message not to hold my hand.

I took my hands out of my pockets.

The problem is I like having my hands in my pockets. It's my natural position. They felt unwieldy hanging by my sides, as if I was walking like a Neanderthal.

Why was I so bad at this?

Elise Allen


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See?" I crowed. "I know what I'm doing. Two weeks, tops, and you'll be begging to dip your fries in my shake."

"You think?"

It took me about a second before I realized I'd done it again. My mouth seriously needed a chaperone.

Elise Allen

Tags: humor teens embarrassment



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Archer pressed a preset button on my car radio. An old Britney Spears song blared, and I sung along to every word, bopping in my seat. Archer just looked at me.

"Oh, come on!" I said. "Who doesn't sing along to Britney?

Elise Allen


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I had always wondered why people closed their eyes when they kissed. Now I knew: they can't help it. The feeling is too overwhelming: the taste, the touch, the smell, even the sound. The sense of sight had to be excluded, or it wouldn't be possible to funciton.

Elise Allen


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It's our song," he murmured into my ear.

Elise Allen


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Know what you get when you rearrange the letters in Nate Wetherill? HATE WILL ENTER.

Elise Allen


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What is wrong with you? ARe you the only guy in the universe who doesn't like a blow job?

Elise Allen


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Sometimes, but if you do it enough, it's harder to trip your gag reflex, which comes in very handy, if you know what I mean."

I did know what she meant, but somehow juxtaposing it with vomiting made the whole thing highly unappealing.

Elise Allen


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One of the cashiers had taken to calling out, "Hey, Clark!" as I came in and marking my exit with "It's a bird, it's a plane, it's SuperGoth!" This was not only tiresome but inaccurate. There's a huge difference between goth and emo, but I never had the time or energy to give him a tutorial.

Elise Allen


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