We need to get you to stop thinking of me as a friend, and start thinking of me as that incredibly hot mechanic you’re sleeping with.”
“You are a friend, why do we need to do that?”
“Because you’re stiff as a board and not in the way I want you to be.
Correct me if I'm wrong here, but didn't we just get beat up for not being fags?"
"Sorry, you just don't scream hetero he-man, dude. I wouldn't call you flaming or anything, but let's just say your toes are singed. Hell, I read straighter than you do."
"I hate to break it to you, but I'm probably too drunk to fuck.
Now all I have to worry about is what might crawl out of the darkness to get me in the night.”
“Yeah, well, I think there’s a box of doughnuts under the chair. You can toss those to distract it.
Tags: funny-humor seth dino
Seth rolled his eyes. “Because you’re such a ladies man.”
“I can be. I just have standards, is all. I’m very selective about who I choose to spend time with, whereas you’ll fuck anything that moves. And several things that don’t.
Tags: fuck funny-humor seth dino
He came up to me and kissed my neck, cupping the side of my face with his hand. He whispered, "Now give me your keys"
"Over my dead body.
You have to be quiet," I said. "We don't want to wake up the ladies. I don't think I want 'em to see me all drunk like this."
"It's not really me we have to worry about, Dino."
"Shit, am I too loud?"
"Yes. Shut up.
Tags: seth dino like-coffee-and-doughnuts
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