He's a pig and I don't allow livestock in the house.

Erin McCarthy

Tags: insult pig



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Alexis grabbed his arm. "Tom Jones? Wow, I totally love Tom Jones. He's like quintessential Vegas—over the top and indecent fun. Let me just go grab a pair of underwear to throw at him and we'll be all set."

Over his undead body. If anyone was getting her underwear tossed in his face, it was going to be him.

"I don't think so, Ball Buster. You're not giving your panties to an old man."

"Oh, and you're so young, Garlic?"

"Garlic?" What the hell was that?

"Yep. Now we have pet names for each other, isn't that adorable? You're Garlic and I'm Ball Buster. Now everyone will believe we're a real couple.

Erin McCarthy

Tags: humor insults nicknames underwear couple pet-names tom-jones vegas



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Seamus: "I was wondering if you would like to go get some coffee"
Cara: "Well that depends ... do you like to take long walks?"
Seamus: "Yes"
Cara: "Do you like sex?"
Seamus: "Yeees"
Cara: "Then take a f***ing hike and leave me the hell alone.

Erin McCarthy

Tags: sex pick-up-line insult kiss-off



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He was willing to pay her to hang around his house and paint Piper's fingernails? It sounded as easy as Britney Spears.

Erin McCarthy

Tags: easy job babysitting britney-spears



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If she had learned anything twenty-five years, it was that money wasn't worth much if you didn't have anyone to share it with.

Erin McCarthy


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I can't give you the sunset, but I can give you the night.

Erin McCarthy

Tags: romantic night sunset vegas-vampires



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But the truth is, I want to be some woman's work boots, not her high heels."
"Work boots?" What was sexy about that? And did women have work boots?
"Yeah. You know, the boots she pulls out when she wants to get down and dirty, hiking or gardening or boating or painting the kitchen. The ones she relies on and trusts and lives her life hard and good and on her terms in. Her favorites.

Erin McCarthy

Tags: relationship high-heels work-boots



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And everyone is always saying that marriage is really hard and takes a lot of work. But the thing is, when you know that you love someone, those things don’t matter. You have to push all the everyday things and the outside world away, and just enjoy knowing that this is the man who has the chest your head is meant to lie on.

Erin McCarthy

Tags: advice love marriage



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Love, no matter how it’s expressed, is still love. We all have flaws, and so our love will be flawed. But that doesn’t diminish it.

Erin McCarthy

Tags: love flaws



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I think perfect love is any time you love unconditionally, without selfish intent, without concern for personal gain.

Erin McCarthy

Tags: love perfect unselfish



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