It was massive. A blurting, busting, backfire! A flabbergasting, fire-breathing, flub-explosion! A propelling, paint-stripping, prison-break!

Ferguson Fartworthy

Tags: kids-humor



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I knew that one of my sharpest memories of sixth grade was forever doomed to be that moment—sitting there with the overwhelming odor of rotten eggs, spaghetti, manure, dead dog, wet schoolbags, smelly socks, and the girly perfume of Amy Bellini’s shampoo … all filling my nostrils.

Ferguson Fartworthy

Tags: kids-humor



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Mr Warty’s face swelled up like a puffer fish—all his whiskers standing straight out like poison spikes.

Ferguson Fartworthy

Tags: boys-humor



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Principal Totty was one of those people who frown while they’re speaking, and then smile at the end of each sentence. It was weird. It was like there were two different people inside her brain.

Ferguson Fartworthy

Tags: funny



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Like some huge, mutant chicken–I sat there hatching a gas-egg the size of a planet.

Ferguson Fartworthy

Tags: funny funny-words boys-humor



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Amy Bellini and Sasha Tibbles traipsed down the aisle and wriggled into the back seat, Amy right next to me. Her damp brown hair flicked in my face as she turned to make herself more comfortable. I didn’t mind. I wouldn’t admit this to ANYONE, but I think she’s not quite as weird as the rest of the girls.

Ferguson Fartworthy

Tags: funny funny-words boys-humor



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