The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.

George Carlin

Tags: humor truth insanity lies lying self-indulgence



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Meow” means “woof” in cat.

George Carlin

Tags: humor cats animals dogs language



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If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.

George Carlin

Tags: humor perspective humanity humour philosophie



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I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it.

George Carlin

Tags: religion organized-religion



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Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die,
your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

George Carlin


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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

George Carlin

Tags: atheism



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There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.

George Carlin

Tags: nature



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When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?

George Carlin


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That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.

George Carlin


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Electricity is really just organized lightning

George Carlin

Tags: humor freedom perspective anarchy electricity lightning



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