She wished, as almost all kids wish at one point or another, that she could turn into a pterodactyl and fly away and never come back.

Gina Damico

Tags: humor childhood-dream pterodactyls



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And you're going to help me find it."
"Oh, really?" he replied with a wry grin. "Why's that?"
"Because you promised to love me," she said in a dopey voice. "And, uh...honor me...and protect..."
He snickered. "Shut up, spaz.

Gina Damico


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Just because it’s the biggest secret in the history of the world doesn’t make it any less true.

Gina Damico


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For a moment she could have sworn she was standing in one of those history-comes-alive museums--the kind that feature animatronic robots, the narration stylings of James Earl Jones, and the sort of exhibits that invade children's nightmares for years to come. But instead of a cyborgish John Wilkes Booth discharging his deadly bullet into the back of a plastic Lincoln's head, a very real version of the assassin was engaged in a furious arm-wrestling match with Elvis Presley.

Lincoln was watching the tussle, amused. "Come on, John," he said. "You can do better than that."

"He's all talk," Elvis whispered back.

"Silence!" roared Booth. "I'm trying to concentrate!"

Lincoln rolled his eyes.

Gina Damico


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The list of scars my students have sustained at the hand of your daughter grows longer each week. Poor Logan Hochspring's arm will forever carry an imprint of her dental records!"
"You bit him?" Lex's father said.
"He called me a wannabe vampire. What was I supposed to do?"
"Oh, I don't know--maybe not bite him?

Gina Damico


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Let me tell you something right now, something that I don't want you ever to forget: Starbucks is an abomination."
Lex was speechless. She now believed that there was no way in a million years this man could possibly be a blood relative.

Gina Damico


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He exuded the air of someone who hated this earth and everything on it and would be much happier if it just broke free of its orbit and hurled itself into the sun.

Gina Damico


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Life isn't fair. Why should death be any different?

Gina Damico


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Seriously?" she said with a glance of skepticism. Driggs and this nerdlinger? "You guys are best friends?"
Ferbus looked up briefly to give her a smug look. "We prefer the term heterosexual life mates.

Gina Damico


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Should she go on? Or drop it? Maybe this was one of those things that people should keep to themselves, like a hatred of baby pandas or a passion for polka music. Everyone needs a secret or two.

Gina Damico


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