I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

Groucho Marx

Tags: humor reading books television



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Humor is reason gone mad.

Groucho Marx

Tags: humor reason



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I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

Groucho Marx

Tags: classic-insult



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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Groucho Marx

Tags: humor marriage



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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Groucho Marx

Tags: humor life



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I don’t have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They’re upstairs in my socks.

Groucho Marx

Tags: nostalgia humour



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Room service? Send up a larger room."

[A Night at the Opera]

Groucho Marx

Tags: humor hotel-rooms hotels room-service



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I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

Groucho Marx

Tags: humor



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Was that you or the duck?

Groucho Marx


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Either this man is dead or my watch has stopped.

Groucho Marx


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