I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.

Jackie Mason

Tags: money choice buy enough jackie-mason



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It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like.

Jackie Mason


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I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people.

Jackie Mason


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Did you ever hear of a kid playing accountant,
even if they wanted to be one?

Jackie Mason


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Anybody who's in favor of gun control is a fucking moron.

Jackie Mason

Tags: gun-control penn-and-teller



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