You can talk forever about style, technique and beautiful prose...in the final analysis one thing matters above all else - is it a page-turner?

Jamie Holoran


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I think you can talk forever about style, technique and beautiful prose, but surely in the final analysis one thing matters above all else - is it a page-turner?

Jamie Holoran


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Jimmy shot him a look that patently said: ‘Mon noo, Wee-man, whit are ye waitin fur? Ah’ve set ye up tae get in her knickers!

Jamie Holoran

Tags: romance scottish glasgow



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Christ – wid ye take a look at that numpty? Fuckin "Popeye" izzit?’ Jimmy gestured towards the bar. ‘C**t obviously husnae hud his spinach, eh?

Jamie Holoran

Tags: humour swearing scottish glasgow



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You see this?’ she wanted to say to him; ‘this tasteless glob of half-masticated rubbery gunk? Well this is the same level as you, maybe higher.

Jamie Holoran

Tags: insults



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There was nothing normal about the divine twin sproutings that formed Rachel Melville’s magically springy chest. Almost involuntarily Ronnie found himself nodding like an obedient puppy.

Jamie Holoran

Tags: funny breasts scottish



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Jimmy was in a league of his own when it came to puerile, half-pissed badinage.

Jamie Holoran

Tags: friends banter



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There was something strangely compelling about a Japanese guy with lamb-chop sideburns and a voice so shrill you could be forgiven for thinking his testicles were wired to the national grid.

Jamie Holoran

Tags: humour voice sideburns



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Ah bet she’s a dirty wee minx in the scratcher. Y’see that "butter wouldnae melt" expression she’s goat goin on? That’s jist a smokescreen – ah guarantee she goes like a train.’ Jimmy belched, considerately turning his head away to exhale.

Jamie Holoran

Tags: sex funny crude



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You had to give credit to anyone who managed to excel at their chosen pastime, be it golf, hang-gliding or hoovering up cocaine with the speed and efficacy of a Dyson Turbo.

Jamie Holoran

Tags: cocaine



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