It seemed like the only way to keep breathing was to focus on the here and now, moment by moment, keeping my mind frozen cold to anything else.

Jennifer Castle


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Sometimes my life here felt like a cage where I could never escape the pain. At other times it felt like the only firm ground on earth

Jennifer Castle


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It was like how people find other people to be in love with, all random and accidental and lucky.

Jennifer Castle

Tags: love family home



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I quickly imagined that I could reach my hand into my chest, yank out that awful feeling, place it on an invisibl ecloud of air right in front of me, then push it away. Push it away

Jennifer Castle


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i've found that letting something stay broken for a little while helps me understand it.

Jennifer Castle


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That's the whole thing about grieving... It's part of the deal: You get to be alive and to love, but in exchange you also have to put in some serious hurt time.

Jennifer Castle


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Holding the knife with the blade against my palm, it became so clear how my life would only contain shadows now. Shadows of things gone; not just the people themselves but everything connected to them. Was this my future? Every moment, every tiny thing I saw and did and touched, weighted by loss. Every space in this house and
my town and the world in general, empty in a way that could never be filled.

Jennifer Castle

Tags: loss mourning grief bereavement tragic-death



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Now I lay facedown on the bed, sobbing for the woman
who once slept here not knowing that someday one of her
worst fears would come true

Jennifer Castle

Tags: fear pain sorrow



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Then I closed my eyes.
That was it. That was Before. Now here we go into After.

Jennifer Castle

Tags: inspirational-life



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Keep in touch.
I suddenly realized how annoying that expression was. Like, Now it's your job to stay in contact with me. It said, I'm really just too lazy.
I started to write back, to keep in touch, but decided I'd be lazy as well.

Jennifer Castle


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