Why is luge a sport? You dress up like a giant sperm and go sledding really fast. That’s hardly athletic. Phallic and sexy, yes. But hardly athletic.

Jessica Park

Tags: humour sports sport olympic-games



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You are not the first, and will not be the last, to say so. I wear my “warped” label with pride.

Jessica Park

Tags: humour



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Then she tried to bore herself to sleep by thinking about things like yogurt and the structure of a gas pedal.

Jessica Park

Tags: humor



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Then she did what any girl would do: she Googled him.

Jessica Park


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If you can't stop thinking about someone's update, that's called "status cling.

Jessica Park

Tags: facebook



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What happens when you get scared half to death twice?

Jessica Park


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Mom, I have to go. I think this Matt character is here."
"Are you sure it's him?"
Julie peered into the car as the window lowered. "I see a maniacal-looking guy with brightly-colored candy in one hand, and he's waving a sickle in the other. Oh! He's beckoning me to the car. This must be my ride.

Jessica Park


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Julie swallowed. "Flat Finn is on Facebook?" She'd love to see those status updates. 'Got strapped to the roof of the car today for a trip to Starbucks. Would have loved to taste caramel mocha, but can't move arms and so was forced to stare longingly at delicious hot beverage. Will the taunting never end?

Jessica Park


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Normal people can become very annoying if put in annoying situations.

Jessica Park

Tags: humor thought-provoking true-to-life



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Internet access came before pride. 

Jessica Park

Tags: funny-and-true



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