R-4 got stuck on the First Law. "Can anyone really protect a human being from all harm whatever?" it thought. "No. It is inevitable that all humans must be injured, contract illnesses and ultimately die. The future can only be averted for humans who are already dead. Ergo..." It took a dozen cops to subdue R-4, after his blood orgy in a department store (83 dead, none injured).

John Sladek

Tags: humor robots



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The future, according to some scientists, will be exactly like the past, only far more expensive.

John Sladek

Tags: future



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Laugh if you will... They laughed at all great ideas and inventions. They laughed at nitrous oxide.

John Sladek


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As the semantic engineer, your job is naming the parts and tightening nuts and bolts. I suggest you get back to your office and do that - right now!

John Sladek


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Yeah but Father, is that what you meant by God being a paradox? How he was so pleased to get a chance to nail his Son there that he even gave up his plan to fry the whole world in Hell?

John Sladek


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History is a bunk on which I am trying to awaken

John Sladek


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Music is the music of all music, and I am jealous.

John Sladek


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