I love it when my justifications for avoiding housework are actually legitimate.

Julie Kenner

Tags: humor housework

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What? Look at my newly mutilated flesh? Screw you!

Julie Kenner

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They weren't wearing their handy-dandy I'm an Evil Demon T-shirts; nevertheless, I could tell they were coming for me.

Julie Kenner

Tags: demon

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Can I just say that dying sucks? All that bullshit about seeing the light and having this inner peace, blah, blah, blah. It's crap.

Julie Kenner

Tags: death

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No, I wanna go kick puppies," she retorted.

Julie Kenner

Tags: humor puppies

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They served "Good Food" but only a G, an O and a D were lit up. Personally, I doubted God dined there. Unless God was keen on samonella poisoning and rat droppings in the hamburgers. But then again, what did I know?

Julie Kenner

Tags: humor food god dinner hamburgers

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Distract him? What the hell was I supposed to do? Strip naked and do the hula?

Julie Kenner

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Fuck you.
I countered, demonstrating my keen skill at argument.

Julie Kenner

Tags: paranormal-thriller

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