There's no such thing as soy milk. It's just soy juice.

Lewis Black

Tags: humor



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Americans continue to rapidly homogenize ourselves into a neutered oblivion. For a country founded on the protection of the unique, we relish our sameness.

Lewis Black


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Writing is thinking and thinking is hard work.

Lewis Black


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In a series of wonderful essays, Evan Handler gives himself up to us - warts and all. To our amusement and bemusement we share in his emotional growth as he struggles to mature. I not only laughed along with him but felt that I too had grown a little along the way. Who could ask for more?

Lewis Black


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We are all shitty little snowflakes dancing in the universe.

Lewis Black


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A republican stands up in congress and says 'I GOT A REALLY BAD IDEA!!' and the democrat stands up after him and says 'AND I CAN MAKE IT SHITTIER!!

Lewis Black


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sometimes i wonder does god just not care are is he to busy ignoring your prayers

Lewis Black


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Jerry Falwell said that the reason that September 11th happened, the reason that God allowed it to happen, was because of certain people in our country. People like, and I'm quoting, 'the pagans,' which is a motorcycle group. Feminists; he brought up feminists. [...] And I couldn't believe it, he said that God had actually talked to him and said, these were the people. That was the reason. It was those people, and that was the reason God allowed this to happen. And I thought, 'That's odd.' Because God had called me twelve hours before, and He said the reason He was upset was because of people like Jerry Falwell.

Lewis Black

Tags: politics religion humour theology gay-rights



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If you stop eating donutes you will live 3 years longer.It's just 3 more years that you want a donut.

Lewis Black


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It’s absolutely stupid that we live without an ozone layer. We have men, we’ve got rockets, we’ve got saran wrap – FIX IT!!!

Lewis Black

Tags: comedy



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