Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
Lily TomlinWhen I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.
Lily TomlinTags: humor inspirational funny goals-in-life wish
We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.
Lily TomlinTags: men sex evolution masturbation naughty
I said "Somebody should do something about that." Then I realized I am somebody.
Lily TomlinTags: life motivation
No matter how cynical you get, it is impossible to keep up.
Lily TomlinTags: cynicism
Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then--we elected them.
Lily TomlinThe best mind altering drug is the truth.
Lily TomlinThe road to success is always under construction
Lily TomlinTags: motivation
Does your mind feel more and more like teflon? Nothing sticks to it?
Lily TomlinTags: humorist-extraordinaire
If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
Lily TomlinTags: truth-beauty-library
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