My new friend," she said. "I met him at the farmers' market."
Friend? Now there was some code. Suddenly, I realized why Patricia [his grandma] had sex on her mind, and then, just as suddenly, I had this whole new batch of unwanted images and thoughts.
"So what do you think, hon? Saturday night, maybe?" Patricia asked my back.
I leaned farther into the refrigerator. "Uhhh..." Milk, orange juice, pickles, mustard, canola oil, cream cheese, my grandmother having sex, please God, make it stop--
Hon?
She swore vengeance on all men with dark hearts.
Lisa PapademetriouTags: mermaid vengeance calypso siren dark-hearts rogues
What is she doing here? I wondered. Hasn't she had enough green-upping?
Lisa PapademetriouTags: humor funny comedy comedian quirky
Do you know what STF is?" "I just ound out," he admitted, "and I am so, so,sorry..." He tried to look like he meant it, but I could tell that a little smile was peeking out at the corner of his mouth. "This is so not funny. I have to wear a plastic suit of armor!" "Well," Marcus said, stifling a giggle, "at least you have a date. And metallics are really in this year.
Lisa PapademetriouPeople make mistakes; they do the wrong things. Sometimes they're annoying. Sometimes they're awful. (That's true for me, too, by the way.)
So how do you know when it's time to give up? And do you know when to hang in there? I guess you don't really. You just make your choices and hope for the best.
It's always best to avoid strangling the person you're on a date with. No matter how crazy he makes you.
Lisa PapademetriouTags: humor
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